Mercy triumphs over judgment

James 2:13 says, "Mercy triumphs over judgment."

I love this saying but find it so hard to follow. In my head I know that it is the right thing to do, but my emotions get in the way and cloud my judgment. Did you notice that - judgment. The mercy slips away that quickly and judgment fills its place.

I was talking to a young man a few days ago. He is struggling with all of those things that young people struggle with - fitting in, being liked, making good grades, arguing with his parents. I mentioned this Bible verse to him.

I told him a story about myself. One morning, my husband and I were out walking on Main St. We had eaten breakfast and were strolling with our cups of coffee. We went in a shop and got reprimanded for having cups of coffee. We were told to take them outside. Now this was especially offensive to me since I had spent $100's of dollars in this particular shop. I rebeled and kept my coffee with me, but left the store in a few minutes. I ranted at Quentin about being reprimanded (it is one of my MAIN pet peeves).

He said, "Oh Beth, he just doesn't want anything spilled on his inventory."

Well I could understand that, but still. Then I remembered, "Mercy triumphs over judgment."

I walked down the sidwalk reciting it to myself. It took quite a while for the mercy to replace the judgment. Even though I know this verse by heart and know the effect it can have on my life, my words, my actions, it still does not take center stage. I am so human.

We used to have a preacher who always said, "Lord have mercy" in his sermons. The Lord does have mercy. We on the other hand are always struggling to be merciful.

Well, my young friend posted the scripture on his FB wall. A reminder to me to be merciful. Isn't that what God would want? 

January Blues

Art: James Dupree, Evolving Elements

Well Christmas is over. School is back in session. The weather is dreary. So goes January.

I struggle with winter. The days are cold or wet. It does not allow me enough time outside. One good thing though, my daughter is into running and needs a partner. I cannot run, but I can walk. So, we bundle up and hit the streets. It is good for her because she gets her exercise and I get get mine too. I told her yesterday, "This is really good. I have a checkup in February. Now I will not weigh so much!!!" She said, "Well if you diet and exercise, you can lose more!" Always the optimist!

Something struck me over the holidays. There are a lot of kids out there who are lost. They do not have reliable friends. They have lost loved ones. They have teachers and coaches who are condescending and belittling. They have frustrations. They have issues.

I keep in touch with several kids through FB or texting. There are so many of them who do not know how to act or where to get help. They search for a kind word or gesture and do not get it at home. So they look further. The kids who party are always willing to accept them as part of their group. "We party. You can party too. Be like us. See how well we are doing? See how popular we are." 

Confusion ensues. "We are accepted by the party group, maybe we should hang with them."

Who is there to tell them that there is a better way? 
Who will help guide them to Jesus?
Who will help keep them connected to Jesus after they accept Him as their Savior?

Why do we parents find it so hard to talk to our kids? 
Why do we parents avoid the hard subjects like: alcohol (illegal for under 21), drugs (illegal), pre-marital sex (illegal under 17, immoral), smoking (illegal under 18). 

I do not have any answers. I want my kids to be aware. Aware of the laws. Aware of the pitfalls of bad decisions. Aware of the cost of "fitting in". Aware of their abilities. Aware of the choices they have.

I only have two biological children, but I have many kids. I want all of my kids to know that they are loved. I will listen to them talk. I will listen to them complain. I will try to guide them during good times and hard times. I will encourage them to be what God wants them to be. I will pray for them.

Do you know a young person who could use a kind word? Learn to text and get their number. It could change their life and yours.

"I do not think you love me"

     This picture reminds me of God's love. It is the bright spot in a dark, dull world. 
    
Last night, my daughter and I had a discussion (what I called it) or a fight (what she called it).  It was regarding doing your best, being positive, working hard. The scolding, encouraging, threatening talk you have to give your kids every once in a while to keep them on track. 
    
     After we finished, I told her, "Remember two things. I love you and you are awesome."
     She looked at me like she did not believe me.  So, I asked her, "Do you believe me?"
     She said, "I do not think you love me."

    Wow, dagger to my heart. I knew this was simply a reaction to my scolding. I knew that in her heart she knew I loved her, but at that moment she was not sure. How could that be? How could she question my love? My kids are one of the most important things in my life, following God and then my husband. It upset me. Later, she said that when I scold her it feels like I do not love her. I explained how that is my job, and it is because I love her, that I scold her.

     The whole thing made me think about love and what it means. We use the word so casually these days.  Everyone loves everyone. You see it on Facebook everyday. "I love you." "Love ya'." "You are my real love." Girls "married" to their friends. Girls claiming their friends as siblings. "Love" is all over the place.

     True love is deep though. It is an emotion and a feeling. It is what God is all about. It is our responsibility to love. But how are we doing with that? Not too good. As a grown up I should really love. I should know how by now. What if I am still missing the mark? What if my efforts seem transparent? What if the love I give a kid does not seem real? That could have real impact.

     I want to love the way God loves. I want to be a bright spot in this dark world. I do not want to be God, just be more like him.

     John 13:34, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

     Today I will start trying to love others as God has loved me. 


   

God continues his effort

God is continuing to pull me toward writing. On Tuesday morning, I received the daily email from our writer's group regarding publications looking for articles. Low and behold there was a quilting magazine listed. Now what are the odds of that happening? A quilter who needs to write can surely come up with an article for a quilting magazine. 

So I went to the website and printed off the info. Well, guess what?  They would take inspirational quilting stories. So, I started writing a story about a young man that I made a quilt for. I usually do not make quilts for the kids I interact with. There are just too many kids and not enough time. This young man really wanted a quilt and I thought it might help him since he had lost his mother a few years prior.  So, I made him a quilt. He gave me one of his mom's shirts and I put it inside the quilt before I quilted it. Now he has his mom with him all the time.

I am not saying I will get published. I am not saying the article will even get read, but I am stepping out there to do God's calling.  

How many years are you going to wait until you write?

God is calling me to write. I know that sounds like such a cliche. I know that the stories of the quilts touching lives is important. I know that the young people I am friends with are important. I know that God can take nothing and make it into something. I know that God is working.

So many God-incidences have happened this year that it is undeniable.

1. The She Speaks Conference in North Carolina was hosted by Lysa Terkeurst. She knows my friend, Taby, who got me started making memory quilts.

2. I applied for a scholarship for the conference.  I did not win the scholarship. The entries were judged by Cec Murphy. I did not go to the She Speaks Conference because it cost too much money.

3. Through blog hopping I discovered that Cec Murphey would be in Comfort offering a writer's retreat. I signed up for the retreat. I attended part of the retreat. 

4. A friend, Liz invited me to a local writer's group. A group of Christian women who encourage each other in their writing.

5. I reviewed writing I had done from the past. I wrote part of a story in 1999. I wrote a few bits and pieces over the last ten years. Ten years? Ten years?

Finally I had to ask myself, what are you waiting for? As usual I was afraid. It reminded me of starting the Quilt Group seven years ago. I was so afraid to step out. God provided the people, the talent, the encouragement, and the ministry for the quilters. I had to be his hands and feet.

Writing is so personal though. Instead of being the hands and feet I will have to be the voice. I know my words are not important, but God's words are. I know God will provide the words. A week ago, I attended a high school basketball game. I saw an old friend. When I got home God helped me write a story about the friendship.

I will write. God will help me. I will put God's word down on paper and trust Him to see me through.

Parental Discernment

     As a parent, I like to think I know what is going on with my two daughters.

     This morning I was drinking my coffee as the girls got ready for school.  The cats were in my lap.  Malley was under the blanket and Nacho was on top trying to figure out what Malley was doing under there.

     Ashlyn called me and asked me to come back to her room.  When I walked back there, she said, "Not in here.  Come to the office."

     I followed her into the office and she said, "Can you finish typing this paper for me?  I am out of time."

     I questioned her about the paper, "What do you mean?"

     She said, "I wrote the paper for English and typed it at school, but could not save it, so I had to re-type it at home.  Please just type it and do not put in the parts that I crossed out." 

     I could tell she was starting to get stressed.  It was almost time to go the school and she was not ready.  Plus Bobby had just texted Avery and needed a ride.  Time was getting short.

     I started typing the remaining few paragraphs of the paper.  When I started reading, I was amazed at how good her writing was.  The wording was excellent and her descriptions were crisp and clear.  But then it happened - I could feel the fear and desperation from her story.

     The paper started with a prayer to God asking for courage.  She had written about the surgery she had on her foot in May of this year.  The account detailed finding out she had to have surgery, going to the hospital for the surgery, waiting, having the surgery, waking up in recovery, getting crutches, going home and the slow recovery.  She ended the paper with another prayer, asking God to help her get through the next few months with ease.

     The thing that struck me was the fear.  I had been there and I knew she was afraid, but I did not understand the depth of her fear.  How could that be?  How could I have not supported her when she needed it most?  How could I not understand what she was feeling. 

     I really felt like I had let her down.  I took her to school because Avery had to leave to get Bobby.  On the way to school I told her, "I am really sorry that I did not understand what you were going through with your surgery."

     She said, "It is ok.  I am thinking about talking to Coach and telling him I will not play basketball this year."

     Now was my chance.  I could share this moment with her, since she was opening up to me.  I said, "Can you still be a trainer?"  While going through her surgery and therapy she had mentioned being a trainer in high school and maybe becoming a physical therapist as a career. 

     She said, "Yeah, I think so."

    The long story short is that I feel like I failed understanding the depth of her fear and worry about the surgery.  Can I make it up?  No not really.  Can I do better next time?  Maybe.

    The great thing that came out of this was Ashlyn turning to God in her time of fear.  Through my failure, she grew.  She turned to God when she needed Him and that is awesome. 

Dear God,
Thank you for giving me this awesome daughter.  She is a light in my world.  Thank you for being there to support her when I fail.  Thank you for holding her hand before, during, and after the surgery.  Help me to be more aware.  Help me to not be so harsh and to encourage my daughter to share with me.  Thank you.  Amen 

God is ABLE!!

God is Able!  As I continue my current Bible Study, I have learned God is able.  Priscilla Shirer spoke about Ephesians 3:20-21 which says - 

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever! Amen. 

God is able to do for me.  I know that, but I often limit what I ask God to do.  The Bible Study focuses on how God is ABLE in a BIG way.  He can do beyond, beyond and way past, my way past.  Well this was demonstrated to be in a big way yesterday!!

In May of this year, I completed the last of six memory quilts I made for my friend, Taby and her family.  I had been on the Internet surfing and discovered a Christan Writer's Conference to be held in September of this year.  I called my friend, Taby, and told her about the conference and how I had wanted to write a book for several years about the ministries God has put into my life.  Well, Taby knew the speaker and urged me to go.  She volunteered to pay for my airplane ticket to North Carolina.  So, we met in San Antonio for the quilt pick up.  The last quilt was made for Taby's niece, Jetonna.  It contained pictures of Jetonna and her mother and was made of Jetonna'a mother's clothes.  We had a nice lunch and Taby and Jetonna both gave me money to attend the writer's conference.

Taby and me on left with Jetonna's little boy, Jetonna on right

I came back home and was filled with doubt.  I researched the Conference and plotted numerous combinations of airline tickets, lodging, rental car, etc.  The bottom line was I did not feel like I should spend THAT much money to attend the conference.  At the last minute, a scholarship was offered.  I submitted a letter and waited.  The scholarship letters were judged by Cec Murphey.  I did not win the scholarship.  I took that as a sign from God, but in reality God provided (money from Taby and Jetonna), but I balked. The conference filled up and I did not go.  I emailed Taby and let her know the time was just not right for me - I was too afraid!

Flash forward to Thursday of this week, I was blogging and adding some new blogs to my list.  I found out that my friend Alice Kolb had a blog.  Alice had encouraged me to write a book about the memory quilts.  I went to see her blog and she had Cec Murphey's blog listed on her blog!!  I went to his blog and found out he was going to be in Comfort Texas at the end of October conducting a writing retreat.  So I signed up.  

So even when I was not able to do make myself go to the original writer's conference in North Carolina, God still made it happen.  I know God wants me to write this book, but I have trouble with being obedient when I do not what steps I will have to take and if I can do it.  I know God will guide me.  I know God will open doors, but I am still afraid.

My new mantra is God is able.  He can do beyond, beyond and way past, way past.  I will keep reminding myself of that as I start down this new, scary path!