Friday, November 19, 2010
"I do not think you love me"
Last night, my daughter and I had a discussion (what I called it) or a fight (what she called it). It was regarding doing your best, being positive, working hard. The scolding, encouraging, threatening talk you have to give your kids every once in a while to keep them on track.
After we finished, I told her, "Remember two things. I love you and you are awesome."
She looked at me like she did not believe me. So, I asked her, "Do you believe me?"
She said, "I do not think you love me."
Wow, dagger to my heart. I knew this was simply a reaction to my scolding. I knew that in her heart she knew I loved her, but at that moment she was not sure. How could that be? How could she question my love? My kids are one of the most important things in my life, following God and then my husband. It upset me. Later, she said that when I scold her it feels like I do not love her. I explained how that is my job, and it is because I love her, that I scold her.
The whole thing made me think about love and what it means. We use the word so casually these days. Everyone loves everyone. You see it on Facebook everyday. "I love you." "Love ya'." "You are my real love." Girls "married" to their friends. Girls claiming their friends as siblings. "Love" is all over the place.
True love is deep though. It is an emotion and a feeling. It is what God is all about. It is our responsibility to love. But how are we doing with that? Not too good. As a grown up I should really love. I should know how by now. What if I am still missing the mark? What if my efforts seem transparent? What if the love I give a kid does not seem real? That could have real impact.
I want to love the way God loves. I want to be a bright spot in this dark world. I do not want to be God, just be more like him.
John 13:34, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."
Today I will start trying to love others as God has loved me.