Struggles of the Last Summer

 



I took this picture a few months ago when I was sitting by the pool. It reminds me of calmer times. Mountain Laurels blooming. Butterflies flitting by. Oh, the days of spring.

 

Now I am knee deep into summer. Long hot days. Short crisp tempers. Dreadful anticipation of fall and all the changes that will take place in our house.

 

Avs will be returning to Texas Tech as a sophomore. She loves Texas Tech, but as a mom, it is five and a half hours away from home. So far. She will be starting curriculum for an art degree. Very exciting for her. She is an amazing artist.

 

Ash will be leaving for her freshman year at Texas State. It is much closer to home - only an hour and a half away. She will be taking basic classes as she prepares for a degree in Physical Therapy. I suspect she will come home a lot since her boyfriend has not graduated yet.

 

So, I will be an empty nester. I already hate those words. Empty. Nothing where there used to be something. Nest. Our home - full of all the things you experience with teenagers - joy, anger, laughter, tears, mood swings, activity, etc.

 

It will be so empty. Yes, I still have my husband, Q. After 24 years, I know we will adjust. I am just not sure how we will adjust. 

 

How do you adjust to an empty house?

 

Some things will be easy. The washer will always be available when I need to wash clothes. There won't be dirty dishes piled up from some snack or meal that was prepared. There won't be stuff like hairbands, books, candy wrappers, shoes lying around in the living room. The guest bathroom will be clean.

 

Other things will be hard. I won't actually get to see their faces in the morning. I will have to text them to be in touch, since calling is not cool. I won't be able to meet them for lunch when they are having a bad day.

 

I am a solitary person, so I know that I will manage. I know it will be good for Q and me. Now we can do things that the kids did not want to do. We can take a trip without getting every one's input. We can eat cereal for dinner. We can stay up late watching TV or reading without having to go to our bedroom, so the kids can have the living room.        

 

A new reality. Quiet. Empty. Hopeful?

 

A New Year

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

Proverbs 31:26

Well, it is now 2013. I am not sure where the time goes. All I know is that my grandma was right, "The older you get, the faster the time goes."

Last year was interesting. I learned some surprising things. During Lent, I decided I would try to read my devotion every day and then share it through some social media. I started out strong, as I always do, but then the first weekend came and sure enough I missed my devotion. I was disappointed in myself, but decided to keep trying. So the next week I read my devotion and shared it everyday until the weekend. Well instead of giving up, I stuck with it. I got through the entire Lent season and read my devotion although I have to admit I did miss quite a few Saturdays. I was astonished. I had never really stuck with something as it related to study in my spiritual life. I have continued this practice and now read my devotions every morning while I drink my coffee.

I also ran into numerous moms who wanted/needed a common group (for lack of a better word) to share/discuss parenting issues. I brushed off the idea, I mean what did I really have to offer? Well as the year progressed, I learned that my kids are not perfect. I raised them as Christians with good values. However, I could not manage their decisions and behavior as they became adults. Maybe other moms could benefit from my experiences?

My goal to write was also not getting any closer. As I looked at my favorite website, Proverbs 31 Ministries, http://www.proverbs31.org/, it dawned on me that the scripture they show on several of their pages:

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

Proverbs 31:26

 

was a scripture that has showed up in my life over and over. So, maybe I was looking at this all wrong. Maybe the book was not the end all, be all, like I thought. Maybe it is just a part of the whole picture. I will continue to write and share my experiences on my blog. I did really poorly at that last year. I will continue to work on my book and honing in on the message. I will share my experiences either one-on-one or in groups when God presents the situation.

Anyway, a new year - a new chance to try and spread God's word.