Friday, November 19, 2010

"I do not think you love me"

     This picture reminds me of God's love. It is the bright spot in a dark, dull world. 
Last night, my daughter and I had a discussion (what I called it) or a fight (what she called it).  It was regarding doing your best, being positive, working hard. The scolding, encouraging, threatening talk you have to give your kids every once in a while to keep them on track. 
     After we finished, I told her, "Remember two things. I love you and you are awesome."
     She looked at me like she did not believe me.  So, I asked her, "Do you believe me?"
     She said, "I do not think you love me."

    Wow, dagger to my heart. I knew this was simply a reaction to my scolding. I knew that in her heart she knew I loved her, but at that moment she was not sure. How could that be? How could she question my love? My kids are one of the most important things in my life, following God and then my husband. It upset me. Later, she said that when I scold her it feels like I do not love her. I explained how that is my job, and it is because I love her, that I scold her.

     The whole thing made me think about love and what it means. We use the word so casually these days.  Everyone loves everyone. You see it on Facebook everyday. "I love you." "Love ya'." "You are my real love." Girls "married" to their friends. Girls claiming their friends as siblings. "Love" is all over the place.

     True love is deep though. It is an emotion and a feeling. It is what God is all about. It is our responsibility to love. But how are we doing with that? Not too good. As a grown up I should really love. I should know how by now. What if I am still missing the mark? What if my efforts seem transparent? What if the love I give a kid does not seem real? That could have real impact.

     I want to love the way God loves. I want to be a bright spot in this dark world. I do not want to be God, just be more like him.

     John 13:34, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

     Today I will start trying to love others as God has loved me. 


Thursday, November 18, 2010

God continues his effort

God is continuing to pull me toward writing. On Tuesday morning, I received the daily email from our writer's group regarding publications looking for articles. Low and behold there was a quilting magazine listed. Now what are the odds of that happening? A quilter who needs to write can surely come up with an article for a quilting magazine. 

So I went to the website and printed off the info. Well, guess what?  They would take inspirational quilting stories. So, I started writing a story about a young man that I made a quilt for. I usually do not make quilts for the kids I interact with. There are just too many kids and not enough time. This young man really wanted a quilt and I thought it might help him since he had lost his mother a few years prior.  So, I made him a quilt. He gave me one of his mom's shirts and I put it inside the quilt before I quilted it. Now he has his mom with him all the time.

I am not saying I will get published. I am not saying the article will even get read, but I am stepping out there to do God's calling.  

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

How many years are you going to wait until you write?

God is calling me to write. I know that sounds like such a cliche. I know that the stories of the quilts touching lives is important. I know that the young people I am friends with are important. I know that God can take nothing and make it into something. I know that God is working.

So many God-incidences have happened this year that it is undeniable.

1. The She Speaks Conference in North Carolina was hosted by Lysa Terkeurst. She knows my friend, Taby, who got me started making memory quilts.

2. I applied for a scholarship for the conference.  I did not win the scholarship. The entries were judged by Cec Murphy. I did not go to the She Speaks Conference because it cost too much money.

3. Through blog hopping I discovered that Cec Murphey would be in Comfort offering a writer's retreat. I signed up for the retreat. I attended part of the retreat. 

4. A friend, Liz invited me to a local writer's group. A group of Christian women who encourage each other in their writing.

5. I reviewed writing I had done from the past. I wrote part of a story in 1999. I wrote a few bits and pieces over the last ten years. Ten years? Ten years?

Finally I had to ask myself, what are you waiting for? As usual I was afraid. It reminded me of starting the Quilt Group seven years ago. I was so afraid to step out. God provided the people, the talent, the encouragement, and the ministry for the quilters. I had to be his hands and feet.

Writing is so personal though. Instead of being the hands and feet I will have to be the voice. I know my words are not important, but God's words are. I know God will provide the words. A week ago, I attended a high school basketball game. I saw an old friend. When I got home God helped me write a story about the friendship.

I will write. God will help me. I will put God's word down on paper and trust Him to see me through.