One Thousand Gifts - A Beginning

It is never too late to start being thankful. As I reviewed some of my favorite blogs tonight, I saw a few tools to help me be more thankful. Ann Voscamp, as usual, is amazing. I added her app to my phone tonight.

I often think of the words she said in her book. Being thankful at all times. It is so difficult when your child is angry. So difficult when I am sad. So difficult when things do not go the way I want. But even in those moments, I reach out to God and ask for help. Help to be thankful, right here, right now.

And so my list begins.
1. My wonderful Lord who sustains me at all times through all things.
2. My beautiful sweet girls.
3. My wonderful husband, who worked to help me become a stay at home mom and still insists that I do not need to work.
4. My gift of quilting.
5. My good health.
6. My siblings.
7. My dad and stepmom, Sue.
8. The moon coming up over the pool in the backyard.
9. Toenails painted red.
10. $42/yard fabric on sale for $4/yard.
11. Tango meowing at me when I ask her, "Where is your toy?"
12. Just Dance on the XBox.
13. Teenagers at my house - eating, sleeping, talking, swimming, playing video games, being.

To be continued...

Less or More

A thought struck me this morning.

I recently heard an acquaintance talking about their Christmas break. She and her husband had decided to do a scaled down version of Christmas this year. They would buy each child a large gift valued at about $200 dollars. They would not provide other gifts at Christmas. In the spring, they would take a trip together as part of their Christmas gift.

Christmas night, the husband put the children to bed. When he came back into the living room. He told the wife that the children were mad at her. She could not believe it and blew up at him. "Those kids are so selfish!" she said. I was shocked. Who is the selfish one in this picture?

Then I heard of another similar incident. A young boy had his birthday. For his birthday, he got an $8 toy and a pair of $20 shorts. He was still out on Christmas break and spent the entire day of his birthday in the car with his dad running errands. He did get to eat out that evening and got a birthday cake, but it made me wonder, is that the best his parents can do?

Flash back to our Christmas. We spent way too much on gifts. This year, since we have teenage girls it was harder to find things they really wanted. Some clothes, some boots and shoes, some Apple accessories, a movie, $200 gift cards. We know it is over the top, but this is our last year with both of the girls living at home. Our oldest will move to college in August.

It made wonder, which is the best way to approach it? Is the "less is more" approach really better? Or does it instill the thought in the child's head that they really do not matter? Do the children wonder why the parents can afford lots of new things for themselves, but they only got one or two gifts?

Does "more, more, more" really send a better message? Does this make the children spoiled? Does this make them expect too much, and then when they don't get it, they are really disappointed?

I think both things are true. The "less" approach can weigh on the kid's mind and maybe even their heart. But I think the "more" approach can set the stage for future disappointments. Now knowing this, why do we still choose the "more" approach? I want my kids to know they are loved. I want my kids to know they are worth the effort. I want my kids to understand that giving to others is more important than giving to themselves.

I personally don't believe more is better. In this instance, I have to make an exception though. More is better when demonstrating to my kids that they are important, loved, and worth the extra effort.   

Bittersweet

Well, we have come to the end of 2011 and the beginning of 2012.

On Christmas Eve, we went to the Candlelight Service and then spent the evening with our good friends at their traditional get together. The kids are all older now, so the excitement level at opening presents is less. The thankfulness for the gifts is a little more though! Two of the kids are out of college, one is in college, two will graduate from high school this year and the other three still have several years to go. We are older now. Wiser? I hope so, but I am not sure.

It is bittersweet. The kids laugh. We all do. But in the back of my mind I wonder how long will our little get togethers on Christmas Eve really last? College, marriage, grandkids. Change will inevitably come. I am not ready for it yet. However, I know that God will help me when the time comes.

It is not that I do not want them to grow up, I do. I want them to have great careers, great marriages, strong Christian lives. But the moments of all of us sleeping under the same roof will end and that makes me a little sad.

My goal this year is to enjoy EVERY moment. Avery will graduate and move off to college. Ashlyn will become a senior in high school. Life is moving on. I am so thankful for the years we have had and the things we have shared. As things change, I ask God to help me adjust, help me embrace this with all that I am. Help me to see the positive and dwell in the possibilities of the future.

Happy New Year. Blessing to you and yours.
Beth

Candace Bushnell, Part 2

Looking back at my last post, it seems I sort of went on and on. I do that sometimes.

So a briefer review of another point from the book.
"They considered me a little farm girl who didn't know her place," she'd tell Billy on the long afternoons they used to spend together. "And they were right. I didn't know my place. As long as one refuses to know one's place, there's no telling what one can do in this world."

This really struck me. I came from the farm life. Was I a little farm girl? Absolutely. I rode horses, raked and baled hay, gathered eggs, burned brush, sprigged coastal fields. I did it all. Did I want to? No, but that is another story.

I went to Texas A&M because I visited the campus while on a livestock judging team with FFA (Future Farmers of America). That was all it took. I became a computer programmer (yuck!!!) because my high school counselor said I could make a lot of money. That ended up being true.

Bu all of that is ancient history now. In the 1990's I searched for more meaning to my life. Oh sure, I made a lot of money, drove a Cadillac, had a great house, great family, but none of it seemed to mean much.

Enter a sewing machine as a Christmas present and waalaa, life is changed. I wonder now how God manages to hang in there when we take so long to figure things out. I had always been around quilts and loved quilts, but had never made a quilt. Once I made that first quilt, life would never be the same. Now 14 years later, I have a quilt ministry. I did not know my place, but God did. I did not know what I was capable of, but God did.

Now I am making quilts and spreading God's love in a world full of hurt. Thank you God for the gift and the guidance to figure out how to use it!!!

One Fifth Avenue by Candace Bushnell - Part 1

Most of you know that I am an avid reader. Well I watch "Sex and the City" with my daughters, horrifying, I know!! So I thought I should check out a book written by Candace Bushnell and see what I thought. I am still reading the book, but she has some interesting statements that I want to take a closer look at.

From the book:

"I can count the days I've been truly content on one hand," Mindy wrote now. "Those are bad numbers in a country where pursuing happiness is a right so important, it's in our Constitution. But maybe that's the key. It's the pursuit of happiness, not the actual acquisition that matters."

I loved this thought. You have this high powered woman, with a large townhouse on Fifth Avenue. She is married to a Pulitzer prize winning author.  She has a computer genius kid and she is still not happy. It begs the question, is she not happy because she cannot see what she has, because she continues to pursue material things in order to get happy, or some other reason?

I see this all the time, even in my small town of 9,000.

Big house - not happy.

Fancy car - not happy.

Smart kids - not happy.

Money to spend - not happy.

Loving spouse - not happy.  

Nothing is ever enough to make us happy. I think we have lost our way. Shouldn't we be thankful for all we have? Shouldn't we be glad we can pursue?

"Happy" is a state of mind. We have gotten so caught up in the acquisition that we have lost the joy of everyday. If I only had.... has replaced I am so lucky. Our focus should be on God and not on things.

 I think Psalm 144:9-15 speaks to this issue.

⁹ I will sing a new song to you, my God;
on the ten-stringed lyre I will make music to you,
¹⁰ to the One who gives victory to kings,
who delivers his servant David.
From the deadly sword ¹¹ deliver me;
rescue me from the hands of foreigners
whose mouths are full of lies,
whose right hands are deceitful.
¹² Then our sons in their youth
will be like well-nurtured plants,
and our daughters will be like pillars
carved to adorn a palace.
¹³ Our barns will be filled
with every kind of provision.
Our sheep will increase by thousands,
by tens of thousands in our fields;
¹⁴ our oxen will draw heavy loads.^[b]
There will be no breaching of walls,
no going into captivity,
no cry of distress in our streets.
¹⁵ Blessed is the people of whom this is true;
blessed is the people whose God is the LORD.

Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary explains the meaning of the scripture.

Commentary on Psalm 144:9-15

Fresh favours call for fresh returns of thanks; we must praise God for the mercies we hope for by his promise, as well as those we have received by his providence. To be saved from the hurtful sword, or from wasting sickness, without deliverance from the dominion of sin and the wrath to come, is but a small advantage. The public prosperity David desired for his people, is stated.

It adds much to the comfort and happiness of parents in this world, to see their children likely to do well. To see them as plants, not as weeds, not as thorns; to see them as plants growing, not withered and blasted; to see them likely to bring forth fruit unto God in their day; to see them in their youth growing strong in the Spirit.

Plenty is to be desired, that we may be thankful to God, generous to our friends, and charitable to the poor; otherwise, what profit is it to have our garners full? Also, uninterrupted peace. War brings abundance of mischiefs, whether it be to attack others or to defend ourselves. And in proportion as we do not adhere to the worship and service of God, we cease to be a happy people. The subjects of the Saviour, the Son of David, share the blessings of his authority and victories, and are happy because they have the Lord for their God.

Why can't it be easy?

"Why can't it be easy?" she asks.

That is the eternal question.

Why do we have to struggle?

School is hard.

Study. Take a test. Make a bad grade.

Study some more.

Friendships take work.

Friends who boss you around and get in your business.

Overlook their shortcomings.

Relationships take dedication.

Words are said. Feelings are hurt.

Decide to work through it.

 I read somewhere, "If we did not struggle,

we would not need faith."

Faith should get us through it.

But sometimes it does not feel like enough.

What do you do when that happens?

What sustains you then?

God does. Even though we feel alone, He is there.

Holding us together when we are falling apart.

His footprints in the sand remind us that he carries us in the hardest times.

A Relentless God

In the last two weeks I received three calls from West Bow Press. Not one call, not two calls, but three calls. You know sometimes God is just relentless!!! I worked on my book for a month or so and then put it aside. When I received the first call, I just blew it off. I did not even listen to the voice message. When I receved the second call, I thought, "Well that is just weird! Maybe I should talk to them if they call again." Well, you know what happened - they called again!!!

I was driving home when the call came. I answered and she wanted to know how my book was coming!! Arrrrrrrrgh! What could I say? What book? She was so nice and even made excuses for me - Are you really busy right now? Don't really have time to work on it?

But then it came - the big question. When do you think you will be ready to publish? Publish, are you kidding me? I cannot, or maybe should say, have not gotten the story down on paper.

Oh, the pressure. She said, " 3 months, 6 months, a year?"

I said, with great hesitation, "6 months or a year?"

Why do I insist on doing this? Putting what God wants me to do aside for everything else? So, I went home and got out my spiral. The story really is good. The writing needs work. But maybe all I have to do is get it down on paper and then they will help me make it publishable.

Praise God that He keeps pushing me when I am kicking and screaming and digging my heels in.

Forgive me God for doubting you. That is really what I am doing. Doubting his ability to help me get the story written.