Friday, February 11, 2011

Why Can't Parenting be all Flowers and Lights

It is Friday! Yeah! The washing machine is running with a load of towels. The embroidery machine is cleaned and sewing a label for a hospital quilt. The dishwasher is waiting to be loaded. Shower taken - not yet. Things are humming along and I am thankful. It even looks like the weather may be getting better.

Though, somehow I feel a little down. I checked out a book at the library yesterday about young girls and their self-esteem, body image issues. It is very unsettling. I see some of the issues in my own daughters. How could this be? Did I project my own issues onto my daughters? Did I somehow discourage them from feeling proud and happy with the way they look? So many questions, and not so many answers. 

I have had struggles in my life, but I try to let them go and move forward with a positive outlook and attitude. The truth is I do not like to dig deep into the issues to try to sort them out. Is God trying to tell me that I must look at the issues and sort them out? I mean, they are my kids, how can I just let it go? On the other hand, how do I really help?

The book suggests listening, encouraging, talking. I try to do these things already. I know I nag too much sometimes. I know I push too much somethimes. I know I let them eat what they want too often. It is such a fine line between being the parent and letting them grow up. I struggle so much with this.  

I think it is time for me to grow up and face the music. I Corinthians 13:11 says "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways."

I just spoke to one of my friends on the phone. I asked her to pray for my daughters and for me. She reminded me that I must believe. I must pray and I must believe that God will answer those prayers. I have to grow as a parent, but with God in the middle of it, I can become what he wants and do the work that needs to be done for my children.

No flowers and lights here. Prayer, faithfulness, belief. Acting when I am uncertain and afraid. Following God's lead. Being the adult.  

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